Saturday 7 September 2013

~On The Other Side~

Well I am here to tell you I MADE IT. I didn't die, or float away to some wasteland. Much to many pre-oppers thoughts, there was always that air of fear that something was going to happen. Here are some examples "I'm going to wake up in the middle of it!!" or "I'm going to wake up paralysed!" or even "I might not wake up at all ~sobs~" Well, I am living proof that none of that is going to happen. I woke up, not even aware of all the crap sticking out of my body in those first few days. Actually, the first thing I said was "Did they break my ribs?!?!?!" Actually, that was also the second thing I said, and the third, maybe even the fourth...
You could tell I was not keen to have that happen, but much to my initial discrace, the answer was in fact "Yes, they had to break four." Great. I can't remember a lot of the first few hours, but I do remember thinking "what were they all talking about, I can open my eyes!" because everyone's video's i'd watched had their eyes closed for a long time, or they couldn't keep their eyes open. Well, actually, my eyes were very close to being closed after seeing a video of me and talking to my dad, but I clearly could see enough!! ;) My friend's mum, who is a nurse in the ICU, made a special trip in to give me a flower balloon and a card. That was the single best present I got the whole time. I was like, "oh, people are actually thinking about me!" That was pretty nice.

So, I was in surgery for about 5 and a half hours, I think. I went in at 7:30am, and got out around 1:30pm. That afternoon was spent gradually waking up, in ICU. I had my favourite nurse in hospital, called Ella. I think most of what I said worked out much more in my head than actually out of my mouth, but they got the jist. ICU was noisy, but that was somewhat comforting to me, and there was always a nurse right next to me, so I wasn't bored or scared or anything. There was a man next to me with two or thress massive tubes down his throat, he was unconsious, and all of his family were there, crying and holding his hands. This was really sad, I'd never had to deal with anything like that, and it put what I was going through into perspective ten-fold. In fact, I actually felt out of place in ICU, and a bit guilty I was taking up a nurses time, and a bed. That night, at around 5pm, I was wide awake and was feeling really good, so Ella brought a TV over to my bed and switched on the show Friends. I lasted about 10 seconds before feeling extremely, well, motion-sick, and the TV was swiftly turned off and taken away. This was the beginning of my month-long strike on all things media - TV, computer, phone, and iPod. Something I was definately not expecting/  I'll talk more about that later. So anyway, a little while after the TV incident I felt a lot better, and just chatted and slept for the rest of Ella's shift. When she left, I turned more to sleep, and wasn't even awake when she left. So, I met my new nurse 2 hours later when the log rolling system began. I can;t remember her name, she was the night nurse and I was onlyawake when I needed to be. Just like when I was little, I slept right through, something very strange for the first night of a scoliosis patient. Nevertheless, this was the beginning of the movements I was taaught at the hospital. I got a pillow between my knees, stayed very still, and my nurse, with the help of another, somehow maneovered me and the bed onto either my back, my left, or right side. This happened every two hours throughout the night, and it took all of about 3 minutes of looking at the machines to fall back to sleep again. I told my family to go home at about 8pm, I knew I would not be needing them tonight, although apparently they were expecting a phone call at any time telling them i would want them to come back in. Jeez, even on drugs, I know what I want. They definately should have listened, although I don';t think they would have gotten a good night's sleep either way. Every two hours I watched the clock go from 6, to 8, to 10, to midnight, to 2am, 4am, 6am, and finally 8am, the time my parents had told me they would be back if they didn't recieve a call earlier. I am one for being on time, and as soon as it was 8:05, I was not happy. I know, weird. They didn't arrive until around 8:30, and although I had been good all night, this really bugged me, I guess I just had a lot I wanted to tell them. At around 8:15, the chest x-ray people came, and I got a new nurse at 8am too I think. Her name was Jo, and was also a really great nurse. The chest x-ray haas got to be one of my least fond, but extremely clear memories in the hospital. I was less than a day post op, after having something like 14 screws, hooks, and 2 rods inserting into my spine which had been forced into a new position. Add to this four broken ribs, and some very, VERY tender skin. Do you think shoving a long, hard, plastic board straight under my back is a good, or painless idea? NO. Well, that is what they did. Since I couldn't sit up, they decided shoving that board, and its bag, under my back whilst lying down was the next best option. I was cursing in my head I can tell you that. Then, they wanted me a bit higher, so for the first time after surgery, they raised my bed a significant amount. This hurt like hell. Then, to top it all off, I had to BREATHE IN BIG, and HOLD IT!! I had to HOLD it!! So I was in severe pain already, then, my lungs which were barely out of surgery, had to expand, more pain, and hold it, putting more pressure on my back, especially where the corers of the board were. That still gobsmacks me, even as I write it i'm still incredulous as to how they thought it was a good idea?!?! Well, I was happy as anything to go back to the wqay I was before, although now in some pain, something I was about to get pretty used to! My parents and sister then cruised up at about 8:30, and soon after the physio people came around. I remember the woman, her name was claire, and she was the lady I had talked to at pre-op day. I rolled onto my side, and with a lot of help from physio, sat up. I felt a bit dizzy, it was very, very strange. To be honest, I don't remember this very clearly, but I do faintly. Anyway, after catching my breath, they asked me if i wanted to try standing, and being the determined person I am, said yes. Well, I stood up., and it really wasn't so bad. Tiring, yes, but dizzying, or wobbly, I didn';t feel those things. I lay back down, which was nice and comforting, and they then informed me that I was the first person they'd EVER seen stand up on the first day. I was definately pretty proud, and so was my family. The rest of the morning was mainly a waiting game. Waiting for a bed in the ward to be available, ready for someone to take me down., and ready mfor paperwork to be done. Jo was great, sometimes staying for a chat, other times, away doing other jobs, I was doing amazing, and didn't need a nurse right there anymore. I did get a bit bored that morning, but thatnks to my inability to watch tv or listen to music, couldn't do anything about it. Ella also came and saw me which was cool, wished me the best of luck for the rest of my recovery, and said she might see me in the surf one day, as I had talked to her about surfing the night before and discovered we shared the same passion. I am still hoping that will happen, and now, I am exactly one month away from surfing!! I can't WAIT!!! OMG just realised today is exactly 5 months post op!!! SO PUMPED!! Anyway, that was ICU. An orderly came for me at about 1pm I think, and Jo came down with me.

I will leave this post here, putting up the first day post op/in the ward sometime next week.
As usual, if you have any questions just chuck me a comment, or head over to www.scoliosis-support.org, that bunch are awesome for everything scoliosis. Good luck if you're in the same boat as me, you can definately do it.

Kelly xx

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